I am the wife of a rural physician. During the night, I often hear the buzz of my husband's pager, and I sink deeper under the warm covers as he stumbles out of bed. In the grey light of dawn, I often sense the empty space beside me in the bed after he's gotten up to deal with the piles of paperwork that call out to be completed before the clinic day begins. I have had Valentine's Day dinner with my sons instead of my husband because the last patient of the day came in with crushing chest pain — and how can matters of the emotional heart trump matters of the physical one? I watch my husband spend every day torn in multiple, equally worthy directions, with virtually no time for himself.
On reading Dr. Ursus's candid piece on marital counselling,1 I felt great empathy for the author and his wife. I'm generalizing, but I believe that the qualities of compassion and dedication that make a loveable spouse can also cause strife in the marriage of a rural physician. The sense of loyalty and commitment that sent them down their career path in the first place now leaves them torn between 2 groups of people who really do need them — their patients and their families. The challenge of finding balance between work and family is especially raw for rural physicians, and I hope that some of Dr. Ursus's colleauges can help him gain insight into achieving that balance.
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