Bottleneck
==========

* Gerri Frager

![Figure1](http://www.cmaj.ca/https://www.cmaj.ca/content/cmaj/191/3/E82/F1.medium.gif)

[Figure1](http://www.cmaj.ca/content/191/3/E82/F1)

“Bottleneck” by Dr. Gerri Frager. Wheel-thrown vessel, carved, hand-built lid representing wings/feathers and hands, underglazed, fired with the naked raku process.

Image courtesy of Gerri Frager

> So many years, 
> 
> so many brains —
> 
> a collective think.
> 
> Gathering strategy:

> how to unlock
> 
> silence
> 
> deadlock
> 
> bottleneck?
> 
> Find a way to breathe life
> 
> into words
> 
> about death

> For a young woman
> 
> with advanced cancer
> 
> her canvas stretched taut
> 
> by an insistent wind
> 
> no tack offers a curve
> 
> that brings relief

> Our need to know
> 
> Her hopes
> 
> Her wishes
> 
> Her plans
> 
> should her dreams
> 
> be dissolved
> 
> by invasive cells

> Decision?
> 
> Incision?
> 
> CPR? DNAR?
> 
> Home?
> 
> Here?
> 
> Where?

> Her room — barren
> 
> where she lies stripped down
> 
> to a blue gown

> The thick air
> 
> parts
> 
> an opening made by the question
> 
> She finally asks of another
> 
> an-other
> 
> The woman who
> 
> each and every day
> 
> takes away her tray —

> kitchen staff.
> 
> No skill
> 
> No training
> 
> in anything
> 
> Medical
> 
> is the chosen one

> Asked about choice
> 
> in this dry land
> 
> that holds no buds
> 
> where bad choices form layers
> 
> much as geologic strata
> 
> only reveal their history
> 
> over time

> They talk
> 
> Of life
> 
> Of death
> 
> Of God

> Aside
> 
> we wait for words
> 
> that would have us
> 
> carry her deeper
> 
> on dark paths
> 
> like pouring sand onto desert

> Or

> Instead
> 
> for words that would allow us
> 
> to lift her, 
> 
> a winged escort
> 
> to help her sail home

## Footnotes

*   Gerri Frager is the author of *Signs of Life: Images Formed from Words and Clay*.

*   This article has been peer reviewed.